Pretend Love.

Today is one of the most celebrated, least understood dates of the year in Valentines Day. 

Most see it as an opportunity to shower their beloved with gifts, some become downcast because they don't seem to have a special someone or laugh at the shows of love going around them whilst others simply bemoan the fact that its become commercial and sold out. 

Was it meant to be that way though?

I always thought there was something hollow about St. Valentines day, something a little bit shameful. I love true meaningful love and I used to think that Valentines day was a time to show it .. but discovering the true story behind the day illuminated all the faults and showed me exactly what my instincts were trying to tell me. 

The tradition of Valentines day is a recent phenomenon (14th century) but its origins is much greater and older than that. 

Origins

Claudius Gothicus, was Roman Emperor from 268-270 AD. During this time, Claudius was building up an army to conquer the known world and he believed that if men remained unmarried, then soldiers would sign up more easily for his campaigns and would be less reluctant to leave their homes on long journeys of war. Rumour has it that he also dissolved existing marriages to bolster his ranks. 

Saint Valentine, or Valentinus in the traditional Latin, was a Christian Roman Priest. He not only disobeyed the laws, but continued to marry Christian couples in secret alongside aiding persecuted Christians. Eventually, he was caught, jailed and sentenced to death. 

It is said that Cladius took a liking to his prisoner, admiring his pluck and courage in the face of great personal danger to himself. Valentine was admitted to see the Emperor, under the pretence that Valentine would beg for mercy and pledge allegience to the Emperor. Furthermore, Claudius attempted to make Valentine give up his faith. 

Valentine, refusing to deny Christ in front of the Emperor, instead tried to convert Claudius. Outraged at the actions of Valentine, Claudius condemned him to death.

Valentine was then tortured, beaten with clubs and stoned repeatively but proving a hardy foe for death. Eventually, he was beheaded, still refusing to deny Christ. 

There are of course a few alternate accounts to the previously . Some say that the couples he married and some of the people he helped threw notes and flowers through his cell window. One admirer in particular was his jailors daughter, who was permitted to visit him and kept him in good spirits. On the day he was to be executed he apparently her a note signed 'with love from your Valentine'. This to me seems fanciful and concocted long after the origins of the story and also hard to corroborate with other more traditional accounts, yet it remains a part of the story. 

Valentines day was never meant to be about celebrating this vague and loose definition of love that seems to encapsulate so much of societys reactions today (no-ones really quite sure what to do, but if you spend enough money you should be alright!), but a Christian martyr dying for the Kingdom. 

The 'holiday of love' has descended into a Western mass-marketing facade which has paper over the real meaning of Valentines day - Stand up for your faith in God and keep his commandments even until death. 

So what does that mean for me now? 

It's an enlightened story of dedication and faith in the face of mortal danger, but it's very removed from the 21st century that we live in.. or is it? 

On this day, more than any other during the calender year, people mistake infatuation, lust and imitations of love, falling head over heels for them when true love is right at their feet. 

There is a true love out there but it means humbling yourself. The prince or princess of your dreams is not going to run around the corner and fall into your arms, miraculously making your life better. 

Any deep, lasting relationship takes work and lots of it. This is the thing, love isn't a day, and it isn't a moment and it's not anyone you know and it's not even a feeling. True love .. True love is found in a consistent, long-term action of sacrificing your needs to meet someone elses deep down needs. Sometimes it won't even make you feel good, sometimes it will hurt and more often than not you get to miss out on something you really wanted to do. 

So why even do it? 

If it's going to hurt, if it's going to be hard and long and something that means sacrifice .. whats the point? 

The point is this. True love will fulfil you. 

It will change you and mould you and perfect you.

So where is it? What does it look like? 

Maybe you've heard of 1st Corinthians and its ode to love in Chapter 13. It's overused and done to death at weddings, but it didn't hit me until yesterday at what it was describing. It's not describing an ethereal state .. it's describing God.

God is patient. God is kind. God does not envy. God does not boast. God is not proud. God does not dishonour others. God is not self-seeking. God is not easily angered. God keeps no records of wrongs for those who love him. God does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. God always protects. God always trusts. God always hopes. God always perseveres. 

God never fails.

So true love is not found in the over-romanticized hollywood state or trait .. it's found in God, the author and creater of Love. In 1 John, there is a beautiful line that sums up why I love at all. 

1 John 4:19 - We love because God first loved. 

Have you become downcast looking for true love? Maybe you've been looking in the wrong direction, roaming the halls of mankind in the quest for the perfect love that the movie screens decree that you should have; when really you should cast your gaze to the heavens and praising a God who has loved you perfectly since time itself began. 

In him, you will found yourself a love that is better than any worldly possession, person or position. 

Every thing I could say now has already been done for me, answered and subsequently summed exquisitely up by a man far more intelligent than myself. His name is William Barefield, better known by his stage name, Trip Lee. He wrote a song called 'Looking For Love' in response to the love that he sees every day and the contrast between that love, and the Love that needs to be seen by everyone. I now paraphrase some of the last and best verses from his song. 

The remaining questions 'Where you find it at?". I know you've been wondering if you're going to die and miss love, well seek Christ because the bible says that God is love. He so loved you, as to redeem you in the midst of your rebellion against him. It was love that made him bleed and cling onto that cross, blood staining his righteousness and his perfection. 

We've tried to fill the void with things of all sorts, but let us stop settling for things that fall short. 

Looking for love? True love is found in Christ.