This is part two of a series on the cost of porn. Let's get real about the cost of porn to your partner, your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife.
This cost is one of the hardest to swallow because it happens to supposedly the person you love most in this world. It is also one of the hardest things to recover once you have lost it.
The cost of pornography with your partner is trust and intimacy. The two are closely linked to each other and one will inevitably impact the other. If you have a lot of trust in your relationship, then you will most likely have a lot of intimacy. On the flip side however, if you have low intimacy in your relationship it means you probably do not trust each other as much as possible.
So what impact does losing trust have? It will eventually destroy your relationship.
Porn is one of the things almost everyone will lie about to their partner. Men will pretend they don't struggle with it, women will pretend it's not even a problem on their radar. Let's get real though. In 56% of divorces, porn is listed as a significant factor in the divorce.
You want to know what kind of effect it will have on your partner? I will tell you a story.
My partner is my biggest supporter; she is my first line of defence and one of the biggest positive influences in my life. Once she stumbled upon a site, and in her own words 'it made her feel like total crap'. She immediately compared herself to the women that were on the site and it made her feel inadequate, unloved, and unclean. That's real pain and hurt.
We have a brilliant relationship, filled with trust and love but something as simple as viewing a website made her feel inadequate and unloved. Long-term, unchecked and not-talked about it could easily destroy us from the inside out.
Do you really think your girlfriend doesn't care that you use porn? Do you really think it doesn't affect your boyfriend when you look at other men?
The solution to this? Being real and talking about it.
Cultivate trust and love by trusting and loving each other. Love your partner enough to show him or her yourself. Not just the 'good' side or the side they fell in love with, but everything. The good, the bad, the ugly and the side of you which you haven't shown anybody yet.
If you don't, it will rot the best parts of your relationship from the inside out. That is a fact. Quote me on it anytime you want.
Too many people make the fatal mistake of thinking that their temptation and porn won't affect anyone else. It does and it will. Every secret sin you have in your life is hurting someone; you just don't know it yet.
So are you going to have a relationship that talks about Porn... or will you be the relationship that ignores it until it’s too late?
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